A Fairytale In Five Drabbles

Soul Mates

Once upon a time, there was a girl who killed the killers.
And she met a man who wasn't exactly a man.
And she fell in love with him.

He was handsome, and he brooded quite adorably.

And he wanted to show her how much she meant to him.
So he killed some fish, and sent her flowers, and tortured her mentor, sketched her portrait, played some opera music, and promised to love her til the end of the world.

But she put a sword through his chest, so he left town and became a detective.
Which was deeply tragic.


Stupid Choice

Once upon a time, there was a girl who saved the world.
And she met a perfect guy who wasn't exactly perfect.
And she could have fallen in love.

But he didn't use the telephone enough. And he followed his id. And he wasn't really deep and damaged - he was only pretending.
So she drank some magic beer, and she saved his life, and bashed him on the head.
And then she walked away.

And she forgot him.
And he forgot her (the bastard).

And an undercover soldier punched him in the face.
Which was completely justified, and pretty funny.


State Farm

Once upon a time, there was a girl who was peculiar.
And she met a normal college boy who wasn't exactly normal.
And she would not fall in love.

She put her heart inside a box, and he tried so hard to find it.
He talked about cheese, threatened a handsome vampire, rescued a werewolf, took her to a secret base, and paid a girl to suck his blood.
But nothing worked.

One day she opened up the box, and took her heart out again.
But she wasn't good at chasing helicopters, so he left her alone.
Which was inevitable.


Seething Hatred

Once upon a time, there was a girl who died quite tragically.
And she met a vampire who wasn't exactly a vampire.
And he fell in love with her.

And he tried to kill her, left her flowers, chained her to the wall, and promised to love her til the end of the world.
And he built shrines, effigies, and robots in her honour.
Then they knocked down a house together.

And one day he came back from Africa.
And she fell in love with him.

But he burst into flames, and saved the world.
Which was really sucky timing.


Slayer's Boy

Once upon a time, there was a girl who changed the world.
And she met a pirate who served her faithfully.
And she fell in love with everyone else.

But he waited. Quite patiently.

The brooding and the british had gone into law.
The soldier was in the jungle. And also married.
The other was... much best forgotten.
Still the pirate waited.

And one day she turned to him, and she said,
"Where have you been all this time? And why didn't I notice earlier?"

And they are hoping to live happily ever after.
So far, they've managed two years.